Catch Up!

I can't believe it has been a month since I last posted. Things were pretty stressful around here for a while and it was hard for me to pretend everything was great. The whole "no money" situation was seriously STRESSFUL. Every day was a challenge. I was emotionally a wreck.
And now, we have more money than we have ever had. It's strange. Very strange. I have to learn to budget in a whole different way. But, I like budgeting a lot more than knowing we are just flat broke, of course! Anyway, all is good in the van Veen household.
My pregnancy is going very, very well!! I feel pretty great, honestly. My diabetes is being really well managed. I exercise 5 days a week, and that has helped my blood sugar a lot. It has also kept my weight down. I am currently 2 pounds heavier than my pre-pregnancy weight. I have to admit, I feel great and I will even go as far to say I look great! I love my body right now and I have a confidence I haven't felt in years. The midwives praise me at every appointment, and last week Marie said "I am SO proud of you! You have done an amazing job this pregnancy." Liam is growing, but is evening out so I am not measuring way ahead any more. His heart rate is great and steady and he is already head down. I can't believe I am thirty weeks! He will be here so soon. We are so, so excited to meet our little boy.
Mark is doing really at school, and I am so proud of him. He is really happy and overall seems to enjoy his life much more. He still works one day a week, so he is busy 5 days a week. My mom and Mark's mom each take Maggie for a day with Grandma once a week, so I have had time to get things done around the house, rest, go for walks, cook and..whatever I feel like. It's nice, but I wish I had my own car so I could run errands and things. Maggie loves her time with her Grandma's and I love the relationships she is developing with them. It is so awesome to see her with our families.
There is one issue in our house that I am dealing with: Gidget. Oh, Gidget. She is OLD. She has accidents all the time (at least once or twice a day, and sometimes three or four times a day), even though we take her outside all the time. We take her out every couple of hours, and definitely when we go to bed and when we wake up. If we go anywhere, she gets taken out before we leave. Still, there are puddles and poops to greet us when we return. She forgets what she's doing, and will want in and out of the same room over and over again. She'll stand in the middle of a room, just staring into space for minutes at a time. She is physically okay, can walk well (as well as her three legs carry her), but usually refuses to walk up any step or even out of our front door. It is just really hard to care for her, and we have started talking about how you know it is "time". We know it's not yet, but I have a feeling it might be in the next year. We always said we would wait until she can't walk or can't eat or is really sick. I think those are still our standards, but it is hard to imagine ever actually putting her down. I just can't imagine actually making the decision to end her life. I really hope that one morning she just doesn't wake up. I want her to go peacefully and naturally, although I personally have never know a dog that has died that way. My family, and Mark's, has always made the decision to put our dogs down when it becomes obvious that they are in pain or it is their time. I am scared and sad to make this decision. I think I will really, really feel like an adult when we have to do this. *SOB*

I'm now 25 weeks pregnant!! Sometimes I cannot believe how fast the time is going. I had an appointment with Cheryl the Midwife yesterday (I think she has taken me over as a patient, which is fine because I love her!) and everything is looking good. My baby belly is measuring 30 weeks, which is a full 8 centimeters larger than a month ago. I only gained a pound last month (and only 2 total), so it was all baby growth! Cheryl was so surprised she measured me twice, with a different tape each time. I don't feel like I am any bigger...in fact I feel so small. Although, it is getting hard for me to get up easily and my tummy feels very heavy.
Maggie had her two year well baby appointment last week, and she is "perfect" according to the Doctor (and us!). She is ahead on all her milestones, which is good. I was never worried about anything, though. Since becoming pregnant, I have become so much more attached to her. I miss her when she's asleep and I am always trying to get her to snuggle with me. She is just so wonderful, and I am really trying to savor these last months as a family of three. I cannot wait for Liam to join our family, but it is just so simple and fun right now.
We started going to a new church a few Sundays ago and we love it!! We were sick this last Sunday so we stayed home, but we plan on attending regularly. We have missed having a church family, and immediately felt like this was the right place for our family for now. We have good friends that go there, which made the decision that much easier. I just feel at ease knowing we have somewhere to be to grow in God. This church is super family orientated and I love that!!
Mark has been going to school for almost a month now, and it is awesome. He loves it! He has Fridays and Sundays off, and works on Saturdays. Monday-Thursday he is at school from 8:00 am to 4:30 PM. He was elected president of the school's technology club, and he has already had meetings and a club day presentation. He is really into it and I'm so proud of him and his passions. He comes home from school happy and excited, which is the opposite of how he used to come home. I am so happy for him. The only issue is that our school loan has not come in yet...Eeeekk! Every day is a test of patience and faith as our money has basically ran out. Technically, it could be up to another month before we get our money, but I really, really hope it doesn't take that long. I really hope it gets here before rent is due!!

Pictures!

Happy 2nd Birthday, Magdalena!!

Magdalena turned two years old on the 27th! I seriously cannot believe that she is already two. If I wasn't already pregnant, I would be majorly pining for a little babe. But, knowing that one will be here in December is making me enjoy and cherish our last months as a family of three.
On her actual birthday, we took her to lunch, then Chuck E. Cheese to play, then her favorite park, and finished it up with an ice cream cone from Shubert's (amazing ice cream!) She had a blast, and it was just an amazing day. We had her birthday party last Saturday, on the 29th. We kept it relatively small, just close friends and family. It was Dora the explorer themed, and I think all the kids loved that! I made a Dora cake that took me FOREVER, but it was well worth it, I think. We also swam, ate yummy food, and had a Dora Pinata. It was perfect!!
Maggie at two years old is...so fun. I was telling Mark yesterday how parenting has become so much more rewarding and entertaining. Instead of just taking care of someone, I feel like I have a little friend with me all the time. Yes, I am in charge, and I have to discipline and lay down rules, but it is fun to be with Maggie! She talks and communicates so well now, I love asking her questions and actually getting a real answer. I love that I can give her two options and she will choose one. She likes shopping, and going out to eat, and exploring new places. She is generally really well behaved, besides the occasional tantrums that I know are due to her inability to communicate everything she wants to. When she throws herself on the ground, I straight up ignore her and walk away. It usually take 10 seconds before she pulls herself off the ground and finds something better to do.
I am so, so in love with my little girl! She loves to make people laugh, and to dance and be silly. She will play by herself in her room for hours each day, especially with her new toy kitchen. She loves her baby dolls, and carries them around all the time. She loves to pretend. She can count to ten (!), is learning her colors very well, can recognize some letters and numbers by sight and she can jump really well.
I can't believe we are going to be blessed with another child in December. I am so excited to start this experience over again. And, I am so excited that Maggie will be here to be a big sister. I love my family!!

A ray of sunshine...

We're getting the money back from Medi-Cal today. Technically, the pharmacy is reimbursing us, but that works for me.
I don't think anyone likes my diabetes posts. I'll have to think of something new to write about...
How about...this has been the busiest, most stressful week I have had in a LONG time?

Headache

Mark went back to work today, and I'm sad! It was awesome to have him here. It was definitely a vacation for me! He got up with Maggie every morning, and let me sleep as long as I wanted. It was heaven. Mornings are still hard for me, and I feel pretty yucky for a couple of hours every morning, so it was SO nice to start my days slowly.
We were going to go camping, but the day before we were going to leave, it was decided I had to start insulin right away. It wouldn't have been a big deal except Medi-Cal has messed up my case repeatedly, and I had to scramble to replace some paperwork they just plain out lost. On Friday, I went to get my new temporary card to take to the Pharmacy. The people at the pharmacy told me that the insulin wasn't covered, nothing was covered. That same day, I had received a letter in the mail telling me I had full coverage. Wonderful. I had already delayed one day in starting the insulin, and my fasting number that morning was close to 120, when it should be under 90. Not good. I started to cry because I was so, so frustrated. I tried to call my case worker but her mailbox was FULL. They transferred my call to the "assistant supervisor", where I left a desperate message explaining my situation. Four days later, no one has returned my call. Thankfully, we had the money to pay for everything out of pocket, which was over a hundred dollars. I am going to fight tooth and nail to get reimbursed. We do not have that extra $100! I am just so, so annoyed.
Health Care reform? Yes, please. I don't have the answers, but anything has to be better than this. What if that insulin was fast acting insulin that people need to survive? What if it had been the day before, when I had $5.00 in my bank account? Mark's job deals with Medi-Cal constantly and he told me has seen people killed by Medi-cal, and their inability to actually provide reliable medical insurance. Sometimes people just can't get what they need in time, and they don't have money to pay for it out of pocket. I followed all the rules, filled out all the paperwork on time, turned in the things I needed to turn in, go to all the stupid programs where they tell me everything I already know...and they can't even get vital medication into my hands. Obviously, I am beyond frustrated. Oh, and I still owe some ultrasound place $100 from a year ago when I had a miscarriage. Although I was pregnant, Medi-Cal claims I don't have proof, so I have to pay for it. I can't bring myself to pay it because it just pisses me off.
Basically, I cannot wait until we can get private insurance. As for my blood sugar, my fasting number has dropped to 90, which is much, much better! All my post meal numbers continue to be good, so hopefully I will stay off of insulin during the day for the remainder of this pregnancy.
The point is, I finally got my insulin Friday at 4:00 pm, and we thought about leaving then, but Maggie started to show signs of getting sick. I'm glad we didn't go, because she got worse and worse. She was up and down all last night, and we finally pulled out the nebulizer to give her a treatment. She woke up this morning looking a lot better, so I hope the worst has passed. Camping will have to wait until another weekend, I guess. We are running out of summer weekends, though. Sigh. Maybe we'll just camp in my mom's back field and save ourselves the trouble. LOL.

Lots of Appointments!

Liam has really started moving and grooving this week. My stomach has started jumping and Mark felt his son kick for the first time last night. Majorly cool! He is really active, and just like with his sister, the midwives always comment on how much he moves. I think he is going to be another extremely busy and physical child. If people tell me I must have my hands full now, what are they going to say about two of them?
Maggie is talking, talking, talking! She will say things like "More bubbles, please, Dad!" when Mark blows bubbles in the pool or "Oh, no! It's dark" when she looks out the window at night. She definitely is letting us know what she thinks, and it is so incredible to me. She is so ready for a sibling. She is starting to get a little too used to having everything belong solely to her. She is a little grab-y when other children, which I know is normal at this age. BUT, I think Liam will really help her learn about sharing and other social norms.
Mark and Maggie came along to the Midwives today, and Maggie was so, so excited about the babies there. A little too excited, as she would run up and try to get in their faces! But, we have no doubt she will be beyond thrilled to have her very own baby. Her baby dolls are precious to her, and she loves carrying her babies around. I think the challenge will be to keep her from smothering Liam.
I have an appointment with my diabetes nurses tomorrow...to go on insulin, darn it! Just like last time, my post meal numbers have been great. My fasting numbers (taken when you first wake up, before you eat anything) are not great at all. Basically, it is not my fault and there is nothing you can do to lower your fasting number if you already following the diet besides insulin. So, I suspect tomorrow will the be the first night out of many that ends with an injection in my stomach. Yep, in my stomach. Awesome, isn't it?
The good thing is that the needles are incredibly thin. The actual injection is usually virtually painless, and hurts less then the finger pricks I do 4 times a day. It is the mental barrier that is the hardest. You have to fill up a syringe, grab a pinch of skin and fat on your stomach, and slowly insert a 1/4" needle in all the way. Then you have to actually inject yourself slowly, wait 5 seconds so the insulin doesn't come back out the injection site, and then withdraw the needle slowly. Sometimes you bleed a tiny bit.
The first time I injected myself with Maggie, It took me three days to get up the courage, and I had a couple of mini panic attacks during those days. The night I finally did it, I was sweating and shaking and crying, but I did it. And I did it again, and again, and again. By the end, when I was in the hospital, I was laughing through the injections and saying how I couldn't believe they were ever scary. At that point, I had been through lots...and had gotten used to all the poking, prodding, testing, monitoring, IV's, ultrasounds...you name it.
I can't believe that a majority of women just go their Dr. or midwife for regular appointments, have a few blood draws and ultrasounds...and go into labor and have their baby. I'm not jealous, because I am honestly grateful just to be able to have healthy children. Less than a year of discomfort? Yeah, I can handle that. But, wow...that would be easier!
Next month is my last monthly appointment, and then they switch to every two weeks. This pregnancy is going by super fast. I cannot believe we will be a family of four by Christmas. I am ordering stockings for the whole family soon. I think Maggie is going to really be into Christmas this year. She is going to love all the lights and decorations, the busyness and...just the specialness of the season. I'm excited!!
P.S. I finally used the accurate scale at the midwives, and I didn't gain any weight this month, and have gained one pound total. That's a very good sign that I am following my GD diet and Cheryl was very pleased with me.